Red Envy
by xxCloudEnvyxx
Summary: Tavros has felt hollow all his life, and that has only become worse in the veil, with no one to warm him. He will realize that there has always been someone there for him, waiting to be needed. Tavros needs Gamzee now. Short but hopefully sweet


_Red Envy_

**Disclaimer: I do not own Homestuck.**

Tavros looked longingly at Sollux and Karkat. He could not tear his eyes from them. They looked so different and strange. They were looking at each other in such a way that made him blush just gazing upon them. Neither of them was scowling, nor were they smiling. They just looked at each other with something deeper than expression. They were feeling emotions much more than a frown or a smile. It was… love. They were showing each other love. Tavros never understood what humans called love. He could not see how just one word could hold all the various emotions, and all the different types of feelings and relationships. However, this… this he didn't understand. This was more than feeling red.

Sollux and Karkat hated each other, they were each other's friends, and they were flushed for each other. Tavros had seen them display all of these. How could they have all these different aspects in one relationship? Trolls didn't have a word for that. He heard Karkat rant about love though. Perhaps that was the right word though. Then again, Tavros had no experience or standing to say. Whatever this was though, it was… entrancing.

With each caress across the other's forearm, hand, jaw line, lips, their atmosphere became thicker and heavy with warmth. It seemed they were radiating warmth and they were stealing it from him too. He could feel the heat evaporating from within him the longer he watched, transfixed, leaving only a cold emptiness. Tavros shivered feeling a chill tremor through him. He felt cold, so cold and colder yet as he watched beyond the doorway, captivated by such foreign affection. No one ever… not like… not like that.

They leaned closer yet and brushed their lips together, brushing tongues. Tavros wrapped his arms around himself. No comfort came from the action. Not like the embrace Sollux held Karkat. He wondered idly how it would feel to have arms around his neck, in the way Karkat slung his arms around Sollux's neck. Every move they made towards each other was tender. What he was watching was not harsh as he assumed troll romance was, even red. It was so intimate and oh so gentle.

He heard a breathy sigh from Karkat as their kiss deepened. He had never heard Karkat sound so content and at ease. Sollux did that to him. Could someone give that to Tavros? Tavros swallowed dryly and cast his eyes to the floor. He was invading on something sacred that only Sollux and Karkat shared. He never shared such a moment with anyone before. A small piece of time where there was no words, and no unnecessary noise. He heard Sollux moan in not lust, but in something simpler and sweeter that Tavros did not understand.

Tavros turned away.

He could not remember why he had sought Karkat's presence. He could not think of anything so important as to break such a beautiful moment between Tavros' leader and his matesprite. They couldn't be anything else, no matter what they told others. A sorrowful smile graced Tavros' lips. Their secret was safe. He could never… would never… yes, they were safe. Tavros wheeled silently away, and as he approached, unnoticed. He stopped though, halfway down the hall, unable to continue. Tavros grasped his shirt over his chest. He was so cold.

Tavros had never felt so empty… so hallow. Like nothing but cold air filled his being. Tavros felt so alone, so utterly alone. The walls of the hall seemed so far from him. Everything was so far away. He wondered absently if anyone would notice if he just stayed here for a while, as alone in the empty space of this hall as he felt. He doubted anyone would bother looking for him, if they even bothered to notice his absence first. He wasn't anyone's partner. No one's lover. Not special to anyone like Karkat and Sollux were to each other. Yes, he would stay here, unnoticed and alone.

That was, until someone jumped onto his lap, having stepped from behind him. He had been so wrapped up in his thoughts that he hadn't even noticed another person walking in the dimly lit hall. Tavros yelped and snapped his eyes open, looking into the glazed but gleaming irises of Gamzee's eyes. "G-Gamzee! W-what?"

Gamzee smiled, though Tavros couldn't see his mouth from their close proximity. He could tell from the way his eyes lit. Their noses were nearly touching. Gamzee had never been this close to him. Gamzee was practically straddling Tavros' hips, with his legs bent along the outside of Tavros' own. "I was looking for you man! You all up and disappeared on me. Left me hangin' man left me hangin'. My heart went all missing you. Got no one else in there, bro. No one else, bro. cold Tav, leavin' a bro to his lonesome like that. But I all up and found you! But you've been in an ocean of tears. What's up with the rain Tav?" Gamzee paused in his fast-paced speech to gently run his thumb across Tavros' cheek. Tavros must have started crying at some point. Tavros tried to speak over the feel of Gamzee's skin on his. "I, uh, um, kinda was feeling, uh, sorry for myself." He tried but could not look away from Gamzee's distantly concerned gaze. There was something in Gamzee's eyes that gravitated all his focus. They were intent, focused and holding a strange emotion. Gamzee sometimes got this way when Tavros felt sorry for himself. It was different from simple concern. Stronger. "You saw them, didn't you?" Gamzee asked softly.

They had already been whispering, but Gamzee's voice sounded… smoother, deeper…. Serious. Tavros blinked in dazed astonishment. Gamzee was being serious with him. "Uh, you mean, uh, I don't, it's not my place to…" Tavros trailed off helplessly.

"Don't worry Tav. I saw them too, bro. why did that get you all bothered?"

Tavros swallowed with unease. He could never keep things from Gamzee. This time, he managed to look down. "I, uh, envy them I guess. I… want that, and, uh… can't." It felt like he just boar his heart for the world to see. Tavros felt naked and exposed. He sounded pathetic. Tavros could almost hear Vriska laughing. Gog, he sounded like a weak grub. Why was he-

Gamzee's palm was suddenly cupping his cheek. Warmth emitted from Gamzee's soft skin and made Tavros' cheek tingle. A blush flamed under Tavros' skin and he looked up at Gamzee in question. He was about to question Gamzee's action when a single sensation left Tavros speechless. The feel of lips on his. Tavros jumped, but otherwise sat motionless, unable to comprehend what Gamzee was doing. He could only stare wide-eyed, watching as Gamzee's handsome face tilted to a more comfortable angle. Gamzee closed his eyes, and Tavros could feel the small, happy grin against his lips. Gamzee, his best friend, his secret crush, was kissing him. Warmth Tavros never experienced erupted into bloom from his core to his fingertips and in his prickling eyes. Gamzee was kissing him and it was… it was, oh it was amazing. Tavros felt his eyelids droop closed and all the tension in his body melted with the tears of bliss running down his chocolate tinged cheeks. Tavros naturally tilted his head and began tentatively moving his lips in time with Gamzee's in a slow, sweet, affectionate dance. A moment of indescribable feeling passed between them before Tavros reluctantly parted. "Why?" he did not open his eyes, savoring the phantom sensation of Gamzee's painted lips on his.

He didn't trust his voice enough for any more words other than that. Slowly, Tavros opened his eyes to meet Gamzee's. Gamzee leaned back just slightly so he could comfortably face Tavros. He inclined his head and genuinely smiled, lovingly gazing at Tavros. "Tav, I've always wanted this. Ever since I spoke to you for the first time. I was just all up and waiting for you to need me back. You can have that Tav. We can. Do you, you know, want this-" Gamzee almost looked uncertain with himself and it caused a sharp pain in Tavros' heart. "With… me? Er, uh, hey, you're raining again. Man, don't tear up, I never- Tav I'm sorry, I thought-" Gamzee started getting off when Tavros threw his arms around Gamzee's neck, pulling him into another kiss. This one held more urgency, almost a desperation, but soon eased into a passionate exchange. Tavros wanted to show Gamzee he was everything he wanted, needed and more. Tavros ran the tip of his tongue along Gamzee's bottom lip, opening his mouth for Gamzee. Gamzee welcomed his offer and soon, their clumsy kiss became intimate, steady and filled with tender, mutual emotions.

Tavros parted ever so slightly and leaned his forehead against Gamzee's, panting slightly, but glowing with radiant confidence. Tavros stared into Gamzee's eyes, "Silly, I'm crying from happiness!" a wide smile flourished on his lips "Gamzee, I'm flushed for you. I have been for a very, very long time."

His brilliant smile was immediately mirrored by Gamzee. Gamzee chuckled in deep, velvet tones and brought Tavros' face between his hands. "You should have all up and told me from the start, Tav. Worry my heart downstream to a world of sorrow, you did. The relief you just gave me is a gift. Hm, but not as much as this. I'm flushed for you Tav. Now I can finally show it." Gamzee leaned in and captured his lips, relaxing against Tavros, bringing his arms around Tavros' waist and caressing the small of his back. Tavros sighed contently into their kiss. Yes, Gamzee was everything he needed. The emptiness Tavros felt had been Gamzee's absence. Now he was here, kissing him, caressing him, loving him, and Tavros finally felt warm. He no longer felt cold and empty. Gamzee made Tavros whole. Gamzee moaned softly while their lips moved seamlessly together and this time, Tavros understood. It was not lust. It was the pleasure of love. Tavros found himself moaning back~ The End.


End file.
